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I’ve had a couple of situations come up lately that have me thinking. And I think it’s time I put this out there for everyone (especially since it’s a pet peeve of mine, heh).
Buckle up, here we go—have you ever noticed how weird people get when something good happens in your life? You share exciting news, a new job, a big goal you hit, maybe even just a cute photo where you feel yourself and suddenly, the room gets quiet…nothin’ but crickets.
People stop commenting. They stop texting. Or worse, they throw shade wrapped in a joke (this one kills me).
It’s frustrating and confusing, right? Like, wait…did I do something wrong? Should I have said it differently? Should I not have said it at all? All the second guessing. It’s too much.
But here’s what I’ve had to learn again and again, sometimes the hard way—when people get weird about your joy, it’s rarely about you. It’s about them—their own insecurities, their own stuff.
And can I just say (louder for the people in the back), there’s room for all of us. To succeed. To shine. To be wildly, unapologetically happy. Being genuinely happy for someone else? That never takes away from your own joy.
Hold onto that.
Still, when someone’s clearly jealous or acting distant after your win, here’s what I remind myself:
- Don’t shrink. You don’t have to make yourself smaller to keep others comfortable. No matter what, you shine bright anyway.
- Be gracious, not guilty. It’s okay to feel proud of what you’ve earned or worked for. You’re not rubbing it in—you’re living your life. And, what’s that saying? Ah yes, ‘their perception isn’t reality’.
- Read the room, but don’t contort yourself for it. If someone’s having a hard time, you can hold space for them without dulling your joy.
- Let them feel their feelings. Jealousy is human. You’ve felt it. I’ve felt it. We all have. Most of the time, it passes. And if it doesn’t, well…then let it be. In fact, just let them be, and move on.
- Don’t mistake someone’s discomfort for your wrongdoing. This one’s big. Someone else’s silence or shade doesn’t mean you did anything wrong (maybe read that one again so it sticks).
I also try to remind myself that real friends will celebrate you, even when they’re struggling. They say, wow, that’s amazing—I’m proud of you. They might feel pangs of jealousy, sure. But they don’t turn it into a passive-aggressive hobby like some people.
And if someone fades away when you’re finally thriving? Let them. ✌🏻
